Not since the mid-80s have we had a witch hunt the likes of what the video game industry is on the verge of experiencing. Concerned organizations are claiming to have found examples of satanic messages contained in popular video games. The seemingly subliminal messages are revealed by playing sections of the game backwards.
Spokesperson for the Coalition of Concerned Knights, or C.O.C.K for short, Randolf Granola maintains that video games are the tool of the devil, much the way that rock music was purported to be in the 70s and 80s.
“Most of us grew up listening to songs by the Beatles, Judas Priest, and Ozzie,” Granola states, “So we really don’t want to go there. We know that’s silly. What we really need to do is attack things that we don’t understand. That’s what organizations like ours have been doing for years. And it seems to work.”
The Knights, (or C.O.C.K. for short) have cited examples of games such as Devil May Cry, Devil Kings, Daredevil, and Diablo as games that glorify evil and deify Satan. Granola claims to have evidence of several games showing ritual sacrifices and imparting detailed instructions on how to conjure demons. He even claims that one game contains an order form which can be used to sell your soul.
“We tried mailing the form with a phoney name to see what kind of response we would get, but the postage was exorbitant. So we decided to contact the developers of these sick games. After confronting them, they pretended not to know what we were talking about. That’s exactly the kind of thing that guilty people do. So that just proves it,” Granola concluded.
Former Cheat Code Central CEO, Arty Hackery says he tried playing some of these games backwards, but complained he couldn’t see the screen. We told him to turn back around and face the TV set. He also tried playing the game sideways, upside down and while seated upon the toilet. Aside from a bruised collarbone and a sore ass, nothing unusual was reported in his findings – or droppings.
Playing games backwards for investigation purposes requires a little bit of technical knowledge and the right software. Probably the easiest method is converting the video game signal to a movie file such as an AVI or WMF file. Simply capture the game through the USB port using video editing software on your computer. Once the file is captured and transformed, drag it onto the timeline and reverse the playback direction. The file will now playback entirely in reverse.
“I just don’t understand this whole thing,” sighs former CCC CEO Arty Hackery. “I’m talking about that last paragraph. I really don’t understand how to hook up anything to my damn computer. And what the HELL is an AVI file? Uh oh, I had better watch my language. That’s what got us all into this mess in the first place.”
*This article is presented as an exclusive Cheat Code Central feature titled "Are you dumb enough to believe this?" Please check back each Friday for the newest edition.